The Catholic Message Board

This story is actually about another very dear and close friend. "Lou" and I actually met on the day before I married Tim. It was his first day on a temporary duty post where I worked. We collaborated on a major project and formed the kind of fraternal bond similar to that of Veterans who served together. After he returned to his permanent assignment, we stayed in touch. After leaving that position, he took classes to become a certified life coach. Every now and again, he would ask my assistance, either as a interviewee for a research project or as an editor for a paper he’d written. I was always happy to help my friend; after all, it was his encouragement that got me to leave the comfort zone of my abilities and discover just how much I’d been selling myself short when it came to what I could do (and do well). He obtained his certification and entered into his new career with his new wife and new life with her. He seems to be enjoying himself very much and I’m thrilled that he’s found so much happiness!

That brings us to early May of this year. Lou and I hadn’t communicated since Christmas. He was writing an article for the June issue of a professional journal and wanted my editorial advice. His article was about strategies to combat feelings of depression that divorced dads might feel with the approach of Father’s Day. We emailed back and forth over the course of about a week, and by the third draft, we were both happy with the result. He submitted his article and gave me the link when it was published, and I thought nothing more of it, especially since my husband was well into his final decline by that time and I had way too many other things clamoring for my limited headspace.

Then Timmy passed away and I dealt with all that goes with it. I kind of drifted from day to day that first week, then I became aware that I needed to find ways to occupy the time I once spent caring for my husband. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I did know I wanted those activities to be beneficial ones. I’d already lost 5 pounds just because I didn’t feel like eating more often than not. My stress levels had gone down, and I had been terrible about stress eating. I became more mindful of what I ate, and more notably, when. Bottom line is: if I’m not hungry, I don’t eat. Simple and easy. I’ve been keeping salad items in the house instead of the canned pastas and Little Debbies Tim would always want to eat. Then I realized that, if I was actually going to make a go of losing weight, I’d better start walking around my neighborhood, which is conveniently in the form of a loop. To keep my brain engaged while I walked, I listened either to Fr. Mike Schmitz’ Bible in a Year podcast (since this is actually my third trip through the Holy Scriptures with Fr. Mike) or the Holy Rosary podcast by Bruce Downs Ministries, because he and his wife Rosemary are Aussies and I just love their accents! I’d also decided I’d start praying The Liturgy of the Hours throughout the day.

So I’d been taking on all of these positive activities for about a week when it dawned on me: I was doing everything Lou had mentioned in the article I’d edited for him! I was getting out into nature and exercising. I was reaching out to close friends more than I had in ages. I was even journaling after a fashion. The only thing on the list I wasn’t doing was reading, unless you count my time with my written word devotionals: The Catechism in a Year, and The Liturgy of the Hours. If ever anyone was NOT the intended audience for Lou’s article, it was me: a widowed mom, grandma, and great-grandma who is not a member the professional community in which the article was published. I never would have read Lou’s advice and subconsciously known what to do to sustain my mental and physical health through this traumatic experience that was uncharted territory had not my dear friend and author of the article sought my editorial expertise.

The friend who introduced me to the VA Chaplain has taught me (whether intentionally or not, I couldn’t say) to recognize and take note of what he calls “God things” that happen in my life - things that clearly bear the mark of divine intervention. Editing that article for Lou was very much a “God thing,” and when I think of all the moving parts He had to put into place over so much time for that to happen, it astounds me all the more. I am truly blessed indeed. Thanks be to God!