Lending to Neighbors

[p.falk]

A few years back we had a bouncy-house for my son. Shortly after he was born they were all the rave. Buying one wasn't much more expensive than renting one. If you plan on using it multiple times buying was actually cheaper than renting.

Bouncy-houses were the ball-pit of my son's age.

A neighbor asked if he and his wife could borrow ours for their son's birthday. We lent them the house and the blower. Days go by after their son's birthday and I messaged my neighbor asking when he planned on bringing back the bouncy-house. He tells me "oh, I left it by your back patio door earlier in the week". Between his dropping it off and my asking "what's up" it had rained a couple of days that week. The motor on the blower was messed up and every inch of fabric of the bouncy-house was soaked.

More recently:
A neighbor borrowed my portable battery to jump start her car. This was during the exceptionally cold stretch of days that we had in WI (that lasted exceptionally long). A week goes by and another friend asked to borrow the battery to jump start. I dawned on me that my neighbor had the battery for a week. I message her asking for it back and she says, "No problem, just remember to bring it back to my house."

Just remember to bring my battery back to her house?

Ooookay. Didn't want to make too big of an issue of it if she still hadn't used it. So, I had my son run it back to her house.... a few days ago. I messaged her again, "any chance you're done with that battery yet?".

Turns out she was going to use it to just keep jump starting her car, because the thing need more jump startin'. All in all she's a nice neighbor. I'll wait a few more days before I press the issue that I need it back.

Any of you have uncomfortable, unfortunate, frustration-inducing moments of 'neighborly lending'?

[p.falk]

Got the car battery charger back today. My neighbor just left it on the front porch the majority of the day. I noticed it when I got home from work.

Bold thing to do. Like my other neighbor. Not giving it back to us when we’re home. Just leaving it on the porch in an area where porch piracy is known to happen.

[anawim]

I've lent a couple of books that I either never got back, or not until the person moved and was cleaning out.
One of the people that I lent to was a priest.

[zeno]

Maybe Shakespeare had it right

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" Hamlet (Act 1, Scene 3)

[Highlander]

"... For loan oft loses both itself and friend, / And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry".

At this point in my life, I typically don't lend. We are in a pretty middle class area, with a few exceptions; most folks have what they need. The few folks I will lend to have always returned items immediately. In the past, when I lent to someone I didn't have good feelings about, I completed the circle; saying "I'll need that back tomorrow...morning...by 10 o'clock. If you haven't dropped it off, I'll come over and get it." I have no compunction about knocking on a door an asking for an item back ... now.

I do have a special tool which turns the valves that shut off water from the city main to individual houses. I have lying beside my house. I have told everyone near me to just grab it if they need to cut off the water to their house. I learned the hard way that not having the tool can have nasty results. If I have to balance someone's house being flooded against losing the tool, I can get another.

I never lend books. I am open and straightforward about that.

[p.falk]

I stopped lending books awhile back... but mainly because it was my own failing on that front.

I'd lend out books and simply forget what I gave out and to whom.
Then when taking notes of whom and what.... I'd forget where that note was.

[Highlander]

I quit lending books because the borrower does not usually treat them as the holy objects they are. I also don't borrow books. I don't want the responsibility of returning it in the same, or better, shape. If I want to read a book, I can buy a used reading copy from Amazon. Or go to the library.

[p.falk]

I quit lending books because the borrower does not usually treat them as the holy objects they are.

Very true.

One of the last times I lent a book, when I got it back it looked like the borrower stored it in a shallow dish of water when she wasn't reading it.

[Highlander]

Now you have me thinking. A danger to all, near and far.

There is a difference between a borrower and a co-owner. Especially a self-appointed and -anointed co-owner. And even more especially when the co-owner relegates all expenses, maintenance, storage, and modification to the other co- (or original) owner. The lady with your jump starter seems to have signed on as a co-owner.

I do recall, indirectly, stories by friends and family of folks that they suddenly discovered were co-owners of various property. The most obvious example, in these parts, is a pickup truck. People have been known to start lining up and claiming co-ownership for the truck for the upcoming weekend as early as Sunday night. Gas, however, is the original owners responsibility. Jump starters, lawn edgers, lawn movers, leaf blowers, wheel barrows, snow shovels, sugar supplies -- and every conceivable wrench, socket, screw driver, level, saw, voltmeter, hammer. And don't forget ladders. Every type of ladder for every possible ladder use. Saw horses. Dollies. Jacks. Compressors. Trimmers. Files. Paint brushes.

Let's segue from "borrow" to "can I use some of...". In that category falls seeds, insecticides, windshield washer fluid, week killer, concrete patch, various cleaning substances, car wax, bricks (yes, bricks), and every other item of household or auto care and maintenance. When working away on some manly household chore, a neighbor might appear and ask, "Hey, I noticed you using (fill in the blank) and I wonder how it would work for me. Could I possible use some of what it is that you are using to see how it works in my case?" The brick example was, "I noticed that you are doing something with a bunch of bricks. I could use several of them, so, since you seem to have a lot, could I have a dozen?"

There are some who can handle the neighborhood moocher. Just today, I ran across a friend in the grocery store. In conversation, he told me that a trickle charger should solve a problem I have, that he has one, and that he will provide me the information so I can get one just like his. No loan involved at all. I admire his technique. Perhaps you could send an Amazon link to your neighbor who lacks her own jump starter.

[p.falk]

There are some who can handle the neighborhood moocher. Just today, I ran across a friend in the grocery store. In conversation, he told me that a trickle charger should solve a problem I have, that he has one, and that he will provide me the information so I can get one just like his. No loan involved at all. I admire his technique. Perhaps you could send an Amazon link to your neighbor who lacks her own jump starter.

That's pretty funny. Next time someone asks to borrow something I'll send them an Amazon link.

[Highlander]

A man of his word,

1) Battery Tender plus https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00068XCQU

2) Battery Tender Ring Harness https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NCOKZQ?th=1

3) Extension Cable https://www.amazon.com/Battery-Tender-0 ... U3TTO?th=1